Eucalyptus Oil

Eucalyptus smells so good and makes everything smell clear. It takes only a few drops to have the smell go in a room in a diffuser. I really have liked this with keeping my sinuses open this winter. It smells really good, and is of good quality. The eucalyptus is my favorite scent and is really nice for over the winter. The bottle is easy to travel with and the blue is really distinct. Label is easy to read as well.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075K2Q5S9

Lavender Lotion

The lavender lotion comes with 3 lid types. A pump, screw, or squeeze type. I love the available options which is super helpful. The lotion of course smells like lavender which isn't too strong or light as far as scents go. My hands felt soft and the feel was smooth on my skin. It has 9 fl oz of lotion in the container. Soft lavender smelling skin. The lotion goes on thin so it lasts longer than a similar amount of lotion that's thicker.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0799KX6FM/ref=oh_aui_i_d_old_o0_img?ie=UTF8&psc=1

My Kids Have Autism

This has been a long time coming, and I have searched for the right things to say for a long time. Since it is world Autism Awareness day I thought today was appropriate. Jay and Gus have Autism, or in other words are Autistic. I told a select few, and they broke trust in telling others before I had a chance. I wanted to have the chance to explain what Autism is as well as for my boys. As a mom this diagnosis has worried me that people would see my sons for their disability, and not for the wonderful boys they are. I feel that I need to share in order to bring awareness and to help others if I can. Both boys are different, and have similarities when it comes to their Autism. I don't claim to be an expert on Autism as I am far from it, but I do know my sons very well. Autism means that the person has difficulty with social interactions, communication, and repetitive behaviors/ interests. I have added some resources explaining what Autism is.

This is what a little bit of what Autism looks like for my sons. Jay and Gus have sensory processing issues so for them certain textures, tastes, colors, sounds, etc… are difficult or are even hard. They are nonverbal which means they do not talk, but can say a few words. They don't usually give eye contact, or are able to respond to their name and appear they can't hear you at times. They are runners so unless I watch closely they will wander or run away. They do something called stimming which they do when happy, sad, frustrated, mad, etc… or to help them regulate. It can get frustrating trying to communicate and do to that or having sensory overload can lead to a meltdown. It may look like a tantrum, but it isn't.

Now I would like to explain what is helpful for our family when it comes to Autism. I do try to assume good intentions and well meaning from others, but sometimes it is hard. I know having a list of faux pas is sometimes helpful. Some of these are my thoughts, and some I got from an Autism parent Facebook group.

1. Don't say your child doesn't look autistic. They look normal to me. They can't have Autism.Um… there isn't a look. I have researched and gone to professionals for their diagnoses. Trust me they have Autism. You can ask me more about Autism or what it is for Jay or Gus.
2. God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle” or “Everything will be okay” That isn't really that helpful. God does give you more than you can handle because sometimes you are made to be humble or just are given more. This basically minimizes my struggles and experiences. Also, my son isn't going to be healed through a priesthood blessing, fasting, or prayer. I am still furious someone tried to fast away Jay’s autism.
3. Don't say “I know what you're going through. My neighbor's cousin’s cat’s sister’s owner’s child has autism”. You don't. The saying goes that once you know a person with autism you know one person with autism. Even my two boys are different in their autism. You can say hey I don't know what your experiences are, but I am here to listen or help when you need me. You can empathize, but unless you have my exact same experiences you don't know what I am going through.
4. Don't offer unsolicited advice. I don't need to hear how if I do xyz my son’s autism will be cured. Articles and videos for me to watch are a no go. Chances are I have heard about the different helps or remedies. That is fantastic that other families have seen successes with different things, but frankly autismsplaining to me isn't cool. I have done so much research about autism that I really don't need to be attacked. You are not an expert after reading an article or so. Unless you are autistic, have a child with Autism, or have a degree relating to Autism your advice is unwanted. You can say hey I read an article and I would love your opinion/comments on it if you are up for it.
5. Don't say why are you doing this therapy or this xyz thing? Stop right there. I am not defending my choices to you. I have researched and meditated about what to do that the fact you know exactly what I should do is hurtful.
6. Don't ask or tell me what caused my child(s) Autism. This is a controversial issue. All of the reasons come down to something I did wrong. Vaccines= my choice and my fault. Genetics have to come from somewhere. Too much tv= my fault. Copper poisoning etc… would all be my fault. No one knows what causes Autism. Oh, and it isn't because I am a bad parent. I guarantee that I am a really good one. I sure try my best.
7. Did you vaccinate?  The fact that some people see Autism as a disease or sickness makes me sad. I don't believe my kids got it from Vaccines. Autism is not the worst thing in my life. My children are perfect and shame on you for not seeing that. Some kids are vaccine injured, but are the exception and not the rule. Basically you can think what you want, but seeing Autism in that way makes me sad.
8. Don't ask what level my child is at or ask if they are high functioning. None of your business. Unless you have the privilege of seeing his diagnosis it isn't your concern.
9. Don't say my child does that too or are you sure they have Autism? Diagnoses are not given out like candy on Halloween, and they are both children so I hope they are similar. Please don't minimize my experiences. Comparison is just not a good idea.
10. Don't ask if my child will outgrow Autism or if they will be independent as an adult. Autism isn't a pair of jeans you outgrow. Autistics adapt to their surroundings, but it doesn't go away. This also goes back to what level they are or are they high functioning. Plus, I don't have a crystal ball so I don't know.
11. Can you afford clothes for your kids? They're always in diapers.  My kids have sensitivities when it comes to clothes. I don't make them wear them at home because home is their safe haven. They are dressed out of the house and at school so they are fine.
12. When will they talk, toilet train, etc… I'm not sure. Plus, I'm the one changing 3 diapers daily. You are not so I don't see how that inconveniences you. You aren't paying for diapers so I’d just let that go.
13. He/she will eat when they are hungry. Kids don't starve themselves.  No, no they will not. Some kids do starve themselves. I can give more resources, but I am not starving my child.
14. Don't say nothing. Crickets are scary. You can say thank you for letting me know so I can understand your child better.
15. You should share about your kids disabilities to promote awareness and acceptance. I did get this. My kids are not specimens to be checked over. Not all parents are open about their child’s diagnosis and that's okay. I haven't previously because of responses I have received. Since the few I told didn't go as well I am taking the time now as I love my kids, and am not ashamed.

Please just love Jay and Gus like I do. Honestly what I gave is just help for things with me and for some other Autism parents. If you ask in a nice way or do it sensitively helps a ton. I don't believe people are out to be insensitive or rude, but please be considerate. I love my boys so much.

Here's some things to please do. They are a little more straightforward so no explanation.

1. Be my friend.
2. Keep inviting me even if I say no or have to reschedule.
3. Get to know us.
4. Tell me I am doing a good job.
5. Tell me about sensory friendly events or places.
6. Ask me about my child’s likes.
7. Please treat my child like a person.
8. Do treat my child with respect and love.

https://www.facebook.com/SPEDPH/videos/1670887129605859/

https://autismsciencefoundation.org/what-is-autism/
https://foodandnutrition.org/september-october-2014/picky-vs-problem-eater-closer-look-sensory-processing-disorder/